Happiness is different for each of us but I think we can agree that being happy is above all seeing life from the good side, being optimistic, and enjoying every moment. Happiness is a present state made of little things, or rather big things, and not a goal to reach.
However, we can also feel happier by putting aside certain things, certain habits and certain thoughts that spoil our lives. Here is a non-exhaustive list of those things that we must learn to do without in order to feel more and more moments of happiness.
1. Items you no longer use
All those things that are lying around, either because they are no longer useful or simply because you don’t like them anymore. It could be clothes that don’t fit anymore, knick-knacks that are gathering dust or gifts from your great-great uncle that don’t fit you at all.
Getting rid of all these things will free up space, both in your apartment and in your mind. Feeling good in your home and surrounded by objects that soothe you or that you really like is essential. It’s your cocoon, the place where everything will always be fine, a place where you should be able to be soothed and happy. So why pollute the environment with useless things or things that are not to your taste?
2. Toxic relationships
We have an irrepressible need to be surrounded, in connection with other people, to exchange and share. Many studies have shown that human beings cannot survive without social relationships. However, sometimes I think it is almost more beneficial to stay alone than to enter into toxic relationships.
There are people who attract us and yet are capable of draining us of all our being in a few minutes. Run away from them. It’s hard to put into words, but I’ve met cold, negative people who have managed to destroy all my optimism and dreams in a single conversation. I don’t know why, I don’t know how, but I immediately felt that these people were not going to do me any good.
It is essential to avoid these harmful people as much as possible and especially not to enter into a long-term relationship with them. And if you realize today that there are people around you who exhaust you or make you feel bad after a simple conversation, try to end this relationship as soon as possible. It is not normal to feel less this or that after having exchanged with someone. Social relationships are there to boost us, make us grow, develop our imagination, and enrich our vision of things. They are not meant to make us feel miserable or morose.
3. Negative thoughts
Easier said than done, we agree. Just try, little by little, to transform these negative thoughts and see the good in everything that happens to you. I swear that there is good in everything, even if it doesn’t seem so at first sight.
To achieve this, I challenge you: every time a negative thought crosses your mind, become aware of it, write it down on a piece of paper or in your head and look for the positive in what is happening to you or bothering you. Even a small positive thing can make that thought sweeter.
For example, I’ve been looking for a company to work for next year for months. I have sent dozens and dozens of applications and have been turned down many times. And yet I am still hopeful and tell myself that this is happening because I have not yet found THE right company in which I will be able to grow. I know I will find it because I believe that life is good.
4. Chronic stress
Initially, stress is good, it is a state in which all our senses are awake and we are able to give the best of ourselves. However, stress is omnipresent today and it is not for nothing that so many burn-outs and depression are spreading in society. And I’m not telling you anything new by saying that too much stress is devastating.
I suggest you reduce your stress so that it is punctual and beneficial and not constant and devastating. To do this, we will become aware of what puts us in such a state. Take a paper and a pen, draw three vertical lines to create three columns. In the first column, write down the origin/cause of your stress, such as the debts you still have to pay or the fact that you have to anticipate all the meals of the week when you never have any idea. In the second column, note whether the stress is justified. Ask yourself what would happen if you didn’t do this thing or if you are just stressing out of habit. For example, if you don’t have a meal idea, it’s not a big deal and a solution is quickly found! Get out a pack of pasta and some frozen vegetables or challenge your kids to be the best cook in the family restaurant! If the stress is really justified, then write down in the last column how you can take a step back or reduce the stress. Take up yoga, learn to say no when you feel overwhelmed, or ask each of your kids for a list of their ten favorite dishes (and teach them how to make them!)
5. Be afraid to dream and achieve
You can do it. I assure you, you can do it.
Start by telling yourself that those dreams growing inside of you are not dreams, they are your future.
Words have extraordinary power, so use them wisely. Tell yourself “yes I can do it” rather than “what a beautiful utopia”. Think positively, I can’t repeat it enough: be optimistic and believe in yourself. It’s easy to say, I know, but it’s inevitable. Use positive words and banish the negative. For example, get into the habit of replacing the word “but” with “and”, it sounds ridiculous and yet your sentences will be much more optimistic!
If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will believe in you and you won’t succeed. Make plans, write down your dreams and how you can achieve them. Break them down into small, simple and achievable steps. Of course, you are not going to create your business in an hour. It will be done step by step, taking the time to research an idea, build a business plan, raise funds. Little by little you will get there. Don’t wait until you’re ready because it will never happen. Go ahead, launch yourself.
And then, at worst, what?
“A plan executed imperfectly now, is better than a plan executed meticulously never.”
That’s it for today, I hope with all my heart that these tips will serve you and make your life more beautiful.
By the way, if you have other tips to be happier, share them in the comments! It will be useful to more than one person I’m sure, and it’s by sharing that we grow!
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